He Had Doubts About His Wife So He Contacted Her Under A Different Name To Test Her

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I work in one of the Gulf countries and my wife lives in one of the countries of East Asia. I had doubts about my wife and thought that she was having relationships with men in my absence. Hence I got in touch with her under a different name and she started talking to me believing that I was a different person. During these conversations I discussed very private matters with her and I even tried to make her commit some sins. In the end I found out from these conversations that she was innocent and fears Allah, which put my mind at rest as I wanted.
I want to know:
1. Did I commit a sin by talking to her under a different name?
2. As I made her think that the person she was talking to was not her husband, did I encourage her thereby to commit the sin of talking about private matters?
3. As there was no other person in fact, will I be questioned about my pretending to be someone else?
I hope that you can answer these questions, because I feel that I have sinned and I fear Allah in my heart.

Praise be to Allaah.

One should think positively of a Muslim and assume that he is good and innocent so long as there is no reason for doubt and suspicion, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not…”

[al-Hujuraat 49:12].

This Qur’aanic etiquette is one of the means of attaining happiness and peace of mind, because thinking badly of people leads one to seek out their faults and may lead to spying or doing something like what you did, which was a mistake because it may make the wife dare to speak to men about private matters, as you mentioned.

With regard to talking to her under a different name, it is not a sin in and of itself. But we should speak about its motive and what may result from it. If the motive was thinking negatively of her with no evidence or grounds for doing so, then this is contrary to what Allah has enjoined of avoiding suspicion.

Trying to make the wife commit some sins was also a mistake, even if the intention was to test her. If we assume that she responded and did fall into sin, that would not have proven that she had gone astray or committed that sin before that, because a person may be weak at any moment in the face of temptation.

Thus it is clear that this action was of no benefit; rather it may be harmful and may encourage the wife to commit sin, and that would increase your doubts without enabling you to find out the facts of the matter.

It would be better to take care of your wife by getting in touch with her and visiting her, and praying for good things for her, and trying to increase her faith and piety, and letting her live near your family or some righteous neighbours. These are means of attaining righteousness and keeping away from evil.

Even more important than all of that is not being away from her for a long time for the purpose of amassing money; rather you should keep your journeys as short as possible, even if that results in more expenses or reduces your earnings. Being keen to take care of your wife and keep her chaste and give her her rights is more important and more obligatory.

See also the answer to question no. 13318 and 145815.

And Allah knows best

He agreed with her husband that if he travelled without her knowledge, it would be the last day between them, and he travelled

A woman stipulated that her husband should not travel abroad without her knowledge, and that if he did travel without her knowledge, it would be the last day between them. Then he travelled without telling her, and she does not know whether he forgot the condition or was heedless of it. Is the relationship ended by this action and is the woman irrevocably divorced? i.e., is she finally divorced from her husband and cannot go back to him? Or is it one talaaq? Or does it depend on the woman herself, if she insists on her condition then she is divorced and if she recants it then there is nothing? Is there any expiation to be offered?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Divorce (talaaq) can only come from the husband. If a woman divorces her husband by talaaq or makes him haraam for herself, that does not count as a talaaq.

But if the husband accepted what his wife stipulated, and said that if he travelled without her knowledge then it would be the last day between them, then this wording is a metaphor for divorce, and it is dependent upon a condition, so it depends on the husband’s intention; if he intended divorce thereby then it counts as a talaaq, and if he did not intend divorce then it does not count as such. If he intended to prevent himself from travelling without her knowledge but did not intend divorce, and then he travelled, then he must offer kafaarat yameen (expiation for breaking an oath).

If he said: I intended divorce by this stipulation, but he travelled forgetting the condition, then it does not count as divorce according to the more correct scholarly view.

See the answer to question no. 105998.

In the event that it is deemed to count as a divorce, it counts as one talaaq only. If this is the first or second talaaq then the husband may take his wife back so long as the ‘iddah has not yet ended

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